Sunday, November 17, 2013

What A Difference A Month Makes!


I've had a lot of questions about our current adoption process so this seems like the easiest way to address them all. I've struggled with how much to share openly and decided that honesty is the best policy! There will always be parts of our children's stories that are private though.

Pumpkin Patch time!
4 weeks ago I was preparing for family to come visit us for our daughter's birthday. I was preparing to have a birthday party and mentally preparing myself to have a 2 year old. The birthday came and went with the party planned 2 days later. October 25th we got a phone call that will forever change our lives. We got a phone call about a tiny little boy sitting in a NICU alone in Florida. We had asked to be presented to this boy's birthmom when his due date was mid to late November, and then when we found out he was born on October 20th, almost 5 weeks early we still said "yes!" to being presented. It seemed to weird to know there was a child waiting for his family and we felt very strongly that this was our son. We even started making our "what if" plans for child care and travel. But the next day we found out another family was chosen. We grieved as we had before and moved on, still preparing for the birthday party. October 25th after enjoying an outing to the pumpkin patch with family I got THE call.
"The original family has decided they aren't able to continue and he still needs a family. Are you still interested?" Wow. We found out a little more information about this little guy, such as the fact that his birthmom had used illicit drugs during the pregnancy that hadn't previously been disclosed and he was going through withdrawals and he was considered to have "mild" microcephaly (small head size). We were told to expect him to be in the NICU for 4-5 weeks plus we would then have to wait out the state clearances. I did some quick research and we discussed it some more. Finally I went to my wonderful husband seeking answers. He told me the one sentence I needed to hear: "If we had been selected originally and then found out these things it wouldn't have changed our decision so why should it change it now?" See why I love him!? All we knew was this boy's birthmom had already terminated her rights and he was alone. So let the whirlwind begin!

2nd birthday!

We enjoyed the next day (Saturday) with family and celebrated The Little One's 2nd birthday while trying to let her know about her new baby brother. The next day we went to church where the only thing I remember was holding my baby girl tight with tears streaming down my face as we sang "10,000 reasons." I remember feeling like I had so many more reasons than 10,000 to be singing and yet I could not imagine being away from my sweet girl for 5 weeks. How could I do this? How could I sacrifice 5 weeks of the life of my 2 year old? It honestly seemed unimaginable. But our families and friends have come through to help make things good for her. And after worshiping with our church family my in-laws took me to the airport as they headed home. As they dropped me off and prayed for our journey my father-in-law simply said "the only way this can happen is from God!" And yes, that's so true. My God is the ultimate completer of my story!



Sometime around 10pm on October 27th I was able to meet and hold my son for the very first time and celebrate him turning 1 week old. Much of that night was a blur as I stayed in his room. One of the few
things I remember was that when I arrived they told me that was his worst day of withdrawal and his respiratory rate was 70-80 most of the day when normal is 30-60 for a newborn. But around 6am when that nurse was about to go off duty and remarked "his respiratory rate has been normal since you got here!" We are not meant to be alone. We are not meant to go through our struggles in life alone, especially when you start life so little! From that day on he started gaining weight and his withdrawal effects decreased. Even when the doctor told me the first time he talked to me that we would be there at least 4 weeks and maybe 5, I told him "you've got 3, that's all he's going to need."
I got to fly to meet our boy but my husband made the long trek in the car, just like he did when our daughter was born. He spent 18 hours driving and finally got to hold him on Oct 29th. But after 6 days he had to return home, back to work and back to our daughter. Over the next couple of weeks a couple of family members were able to come visit and love on our boy with me. And I was grateful for the love! We met other families who were also adopting babies and were also staying at the Ronald McDonald House and that was such a nice thing to have others to who understood what the journey was like.

I'll spare you all the day by day details, party because one day blurs into all the rest! But here we are 3 weeks from the day I first cried about leaving my daughter (henceforth to be know as "The Daughter"!) and the day I first met my son. He has been out of the hospital now for 3 days and is
doing great! When we were discharged he weighed just over 5 pounds, so we are hoping for a few ounces of gain tomorrow when we have a pediatrician appointment.
Tomorrow we will meet with The Son's birthmom one last time. For those of you who have never had an experience like that I can only tell you that there is no way to describe the emotions.  The day after that we are heading towards the state line, but can't actually leave the state until both the state of Florida and our home state approve us. And while a family member has offered us an awesome beach-front condo and I will thoroughly enjoy some time with my toes in the sand I pray that I won't have much time to get attached to it!

We don't know what the future holds for The Son (TS) but we know who holds our future! We know the difference that a life of love, attention, nurturing and good nutrition can make in the life of a child. And we pray that his life will be a testament over triumphing evil in life with good!


If you are reading this and considering adoption, please contact me at Lana@christianadoptionconsultants.com and let me help you begin your story! We have been blessed twice now through the services of Christian Adoption Consultants and I'm blessed to be able to work for them!

Lord, there are no words. There simply aren't. Everything is inadequate to describe our thankfulness, our blessings and our love. But we know that You have authored our story and look forward to the next several chapters. We ask You Lord to make our journey home a quick one so we can be united as one family. We ask You to give our son the healing he needs to completely conquer whatever medical issues may arise. And we ask You to give us the knowledge and understanding to be able to deal what whatever our future holds. Thank You!!!! Amen.