Monday, July 22, 2013

Feeling Your Presence

Lately The Little One (TLO) has been waking up screaming in the middle of the night at least a couple of nights a week. I'm assuming it's the start of nightmares but really have no idea. All I know is that the only thing that helps is to stand at her bedside with my hand on her back until she's asleep again. Sometimes it only takes a couple of minutes, other times it's 10. Unfortunately I'm short and her crib mattress is in the lowest setting. That means I can only reach her comfortably if she's up next to the edge. Sometimes I try to sneak out after a couple of minutes but inevitably the screaming starts back. I had no idea that just my touch, my presence mattered so much. I'm not patting her, I'm not talking to her, I'm not singing to her...just being present. 
One night as my back was hurting from stretching into her crib for what seemed like an eternity but was probably only a few minutes, I realized that I'm not much different than TLO. I realized how much I long for my Fathers presence too. Sometimes I don't need to hear His plan for me. I don't need to hear His comforting words. I just need to know He's near. Sometimes His nearness is reflected just through His words from centuries ago as I read my Bible. Sometimes I see His presence through the world around me - the rainbow after a storm, the butterfly that lands on my hand or the people in my life. And then there's the times when I've been in a dark place that the perfect song comes on the radio and I can feel His hand reaching out to comfort me. His hand, resting on my back...just being present. 

Matthew 28:20 "...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Thank You Father for always being near me. Thank You for the heavy hand on me when I need to feel you most. I may have times I feel alone and am screaming in a dark room but I know that You are right beside me. You will comfort me when I need it, give me space to grow on my own when I can and have placed others in my life to hold my hand when life is the hardest. Thank You for the honor of allowing me to be the one who gets to stretch into a crib and comfort my sweet child. Next time i will remind myself that I prayed for this! Amen. 

1 comment:

  1. I always enjoy your thoughtful posts, Lana. You could write a book of devotions!